I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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