I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize