I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize