and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
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It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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