He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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