So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
