I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
