your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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