i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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