No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
