he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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