Just fell off a train. Bad.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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