Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
