i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
