I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
