if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
