the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize