if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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