ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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