you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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