He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize