His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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