Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize