i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize