I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize