What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm passing your future prison.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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