Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it glows. i had to have it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
