those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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