it was like eating out sand paper
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?