Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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