forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't deserve a penis
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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