1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go