I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
