awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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