I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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