My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
