and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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