im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize