marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
