I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.