Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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