Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
