if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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