Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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