I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
