Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
