You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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