We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
