smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize