you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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