Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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